Feeling kind of depressed today. Trying to listen to some encouraging music, and not let it get me down. But all I want to do is lay in bed and cry! I honestly have no idea why I'm feeling this way. Well...maybe I do.
I've prayed - could probably pray some more...
I think I'm just frustrated.
I had a dream last night. It was so real and so vivid.
My belly was huge and swollen and inside was a healthy baby. In my dream I kept touching my stomach in awe that I was actually pregnant. Finally after so many years, so many medications, and so many false hopes, my dreams had come true. The hubs and I were having a baby!
In my dream we went shopping, decorated the nursery, and anticipated the arrival of our child. I told my family and friends, my pastor, my church... IT WAS ACTUALLY HAPPENING.
Then I woke up.
So many intense emotions filled me. The excitement of being pregnant. The sinking realization that it was just a dream, and now, the depression.
Really hard to trust and know that everything will happen in God's timing...not my own.
Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Why Hope and Why Deferred?
Proverbs 13:12 "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when dreams come true there is life and joy"
When I was in my teens I knew one thing...I wanted to get married. I also wanted to have kids - but new the marriage thing needed to happen first!
I didn't want to get married at 30, and I definitely didn't want to start having kids at 30. I wanted to marry young, be a young mom, and live life.
God had other plans. My Hope. My Dreams. DEFERRED.
But it was so worth it.
When I was in my teens I knew one thing...I wanted to get married. I also wanted to have kids - but new the marriage thing needed to happen first!
I didn't want to get married at 30, and I definitely didn't want to start having kids at 30. I wanted to marry young, be a young mom, and live life.
God had other plans. My Hope. My Dreams. DEFERRED.
But it was so worth it.
Something New
I have always journaled and had a place to voice my thoughts. Until I got married I was journaling almost daily. Now I hardly have a second to write a brief sentence in my once loved journal. I have so much bubbling up inside of me that wants to spill out, but no outlet...
Until today...
I'm starting a blog!
Not sure what will come out. Just the ramblings of a not so desperate not so house of a wife.
Until next time...
Until today...
I'm starting a blog!
Not sure what will come out. Just the ramblings of a not so desperate not so house of a wife.
Until next time...
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